Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize