I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
