i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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