Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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