I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
