I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
