The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
