is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
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