You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
