I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
