I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Cover your peen. We're going out.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
