If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
