So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
