even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
