guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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