my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
