Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
