she takes plan B like it's going out of style
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
