i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
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