do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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