i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
