i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
