areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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