so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize