Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
