i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
the gays at disneyland are vicious
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
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