Just mADE A PArabola og urine
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
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