Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
