Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
