When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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