FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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