I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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