Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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