thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
