9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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