Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize