Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
