So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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