You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
