sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
