? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
i drank out of a bidet.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
