break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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