Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
