I'm going to jail i love you
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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