Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
