I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
