This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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