I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
