Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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