It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
She bit a glass in half.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
