My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
