Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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