yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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