ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
