I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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