When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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