I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
