Me too!
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
