i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
