i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
