North Korea, Best Korea!
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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