(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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