You're my little dorito
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize