The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
