Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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