I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
