she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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