It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
