Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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