I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
