I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
